With the help of ASMRs

Ok so I have a confession to make. I didn't know what ASMRs were until this year. And yes, that is because of the infamous (and alluring) Yagami Yato. If you don't know who she is, it's quite obvious that you are not on that side of TikTok.

For those of you who have never heard of or know what ASMRs are, ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. It's that tingly sensation you get when someone whispers in your ear or near your neck...so to speak. It also refers to certain types of audio that simulate scenarios between you and another character.

I know that I have only touched the surface of the ASMR world. It started with Yagami Yato (YY) playing male characters from a few animes - my personal favourites being Kuroo Tetsurou from Haikyu!! and Keigo Takami aka Hawks from My Hero Academia. Given that majority of the scenes portrayed in these audios are seriously NOT SAFE FOR WORK, there are also comfort corners as well. And believe me, the excitement is so damn real.

Because the content produced by YY always got the blood pumping and the adrenaline going, I bit the bullet and signed up to be her patron on Patreon, situating myself on the 10tier and feeling exceptionally happy about it. For about a month, she was the only Patreon page I subscribed to and I was comfortable with that. I am currently living a very busy life, working two jobs, trying to catch up with shows I enjoy watching and trying to get laundry done and keep my section of the house clean, be social with my friends and continue to let everyone know that I am, in fact, still breathing. The room (meaning my life) seriously seems like it's spinning too fast for my liking and I can't control diddly squat.

But the comfort ASMRs help. Greatly.

And then someone else popped into the picture. Another ASMR creator. And boy was I not ready for him. Professor Cal was a surprise I was not expecting nor did I have the capability to prepare for someone like him. The seductive power of a disembodied voice. Oh by the love of the Goddess *deep, even breaths*.

Professor Cal. At first, I couldn't find the right words to express what I felt when I first heard his voice. It wasn't deep or raspy or husky. But there was a reassuring gentleness to it. When he speaks, I am safe. I feel it. I am comforted. It's empowering, in a way. And the kindness and sincerity of what he says and how he says it...renders me speechless. His content does dip into the NSFW category (don't judge me) but it's so much more than that.

It is safe to assume that there was no hesitation on my part to hop on that train and become a patron of his too. And I have no regrets. Because soon after I signed up, his YouTube page got taken down. Talk about timing.

Little did I know, I was going to get thrown for a loop again by Professor Cal because when I became his patron and began to casually browse his page, I found audio of him playing the guitar and singing. Oh man was I taken aback.....tumbling down the nostalgia tunnel and reminded of the days when boys who sang and played guitar once made me weak. And Cal did that. Weak in the knees and a stammering mess I was.

And that was it for a while. I thought that was all I needed. But YouTube had other plans because it started giving me suggestions of users it thought I might like. Damn you YouTube. Damn you for providing me with so many options. To date, I have subscribed to four Patreon accounts - Yagami Yato, Professor Cal, vo EROS and BoyfriendAudio.

I have become so dependent on these audios to get me through the day. To be honest, I feel emotionally starved. I feel as if I've been giving out the good positive energy to everyone around me and haven't received the energy I need to sustain myself. That may sound a bit confusing to some reading this but it makes sense to me.